Understanding the Opportunity!
I have watched as the climate of this country has increased
in the expression of open bigotry, open hatred, and some resulting violence.
I know it isn’t new or sudden. It has been brewing for
centuries.
The fear mongering of the last decade has fed it, the
political climate nurtured it.
And... it is right on time in the Cycle of Prejudice.
The upheaval of the last several years was predictable.
In the Cycle of Prejudice, prejudice starts as totally sanctioned;
mainstream approved, acceptable, even expected. Think of slavery,
for example (though it is not the only example).
Prejudice was the norm, accepted as a fact and created as a
foundation within the infrastructure.
Then over time it became less acceptable to some….
…. Then it became less acceptable to more…
then to
many…
soon there was a violent push for
it to end (Civil War).
It became law that slavery be eliminated. The expectation
was that the prejudice that accompanied slavery would also be eliminated. Laws
went into place to require equality between blacks and whites in various forms,
various settings.
…But you can’t mandate will.
The prejudice simply went underground.
While there, it festers and brews. Blame, stereotypes,
anger; they all grow – deep and dark – until, suddenly they erupt.
During the era of mandated will when racism was not-so-politically-correct, words and acts of
prejudice and violence increase; slowly, subtly at first becoming more brazen, to more blatant (consider the limelight of police brutality, of Black Lives Matter).
The senses of the public become almost dulled
to it, almost callous to the occurrences as they rise and increase and become
the norm.
And then prejudice again becomes accepted. It is large and
out loud; brash, vulgar, and sometimes violent.
That’s where we are again.
Prejudice is loud, large, above board, seemingly approved
and accepted.
It is uncomfortable…. But what if this open hatred, open
prejudice, open violence is actually an open door?
What if it is the BEGINNING of real respect and equity
within our society?
Can you see the possibility?
When prejudice is underground, it is almost impossible to
deal with. It is easily denied. It is often subversive, insidious, and hard to
identify.
When it is “loud and proud”, that’s when the opportunity
truly exists;
…the opportunity for dialog.
The dialog isn’t about an expectation that people are
transformed into singing Kumbaya in the streets, holding hands with a happy
ending with Grinch-like transformations.
It isn’t about even changing people’s perspectives or how
they think.
It’s about teaching and expecting and holding individuals
and groups to the idea of simple
respect.
I’m not talking about the type of respect that is earned.
I’m talking about the type that is given; simply and civilly.
Such respect is about increasing individual and collective
tool boxes. Learning to manage the self in conflict, in differing opinions, in the process of being offended, of not liking someone or something someone does.
Building tool boxes begins with dialog.
Honest, difficult dialog that interrupts the Cycle.
It starts with “the choir,” those of us who are already
ready, who already get it.
We start by exploring our own behavior, beliefs, implicit
and explicit biases; challenging them in one another, owning our sh*t.
It starts by recognizing our privilege (virtually everyone
experiences some level of privilege) and stepping into the power and
responsibility of that privilege.
In this way, we are at the beginning of a great opportunity
to interrupt the Cycle of Prejudice; as individuals and as a society.
Not by punishing the hatred (different than accountability).
Not by futilely attempting to mandate will (that hasn't gone well yet).
But by checking ourselves first – checking our bias, our
privilege, our blind spots, our painful spots.
And talking about it.
It starts with you.
And remember, that’s something you have control over.
YOU can start, continue, and expand the dialog.
Baby steps.
I look forward to anyone who wants to engage in that conversation.
Tweet @LeahKyaio #letstalkaboutthehate
Email me.
Comment below.
Do your part – start the conversations.
With Respect,
Leah R. Kyaio
Photo by Markku Solopuro